Salvaging My Identity Day 2 — by Unknown on

I have always had a hard time accepting  what I look like.  Not really like what I saw in the mirror always being made fun. When I started modeling I felt like  I had an image to uphold to and one that might be to hard to  fit into. I started not eating and even when I did eat I forced myself to throw up.  I developed an eating disorder and even than slowly but surely my health took a turn for the worst. Instead of taking care of my body I was making myself sick. I ended up in the hospital for appendicitis not very fun and having to miss African Fashion week.  I knew at that moment that I need to learn to accept me for me. When was the the last time you felt beautiful? When was the last time you had positive thoughts about yourself? We live in a world where the beauty standard  is fake and we cant even attain.  But there is one person who will never let us down and that's GOD. He will love us no matter what we look like. 
On a scale of 1- 10 where would you be if 1 is "don't even think about my appearance" and 10 is "obsessed with my appearance"? 
comment below I would love to know your answers

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Salvage My Identity Day 1 — by Unknown on

Where we are in a world thats based on technology, and social media.  What you see from me is an image, a look  a way of life. I portray this person that I wish to be   but in REALITY for me  what you see is not really my REALITY at all. 

Struggling with the every day issues, of finding my identity, and learning who I am as a person. Fighting myself from whats real and fake.  How can one truly know who they are when they are consistently being thrown in a pit of fire. 
Have you ever sat back and thought, why do I put myself through this torture of being desperate to be accepted and validated by all these people whose opinions change like the wind? Why am I willing to compromise my convictions and who I truly am at any cost? We ask ourselves on an everyday basis the types of questions like "Will they like me?" " I need to do this with him so he won't leave me." "We're they talking about me?"  "Did they think I was funny?" "Does he think I am Beautiful?"
Why are we searching for acceptance in others when we should be searching for acceptance in God himself?
God knows us, and loves us and fully accepts us -- the REAL US! 
but this identity that we have we have to truly find out who we are .... <3 and begin to love ourselves.
I am Sheila Marie Johnson I am a model I am a actress I am a photographer I am an extreme couponer I am a Blogger I am funny I am depressed I am weird I am anxious I am happy I am insecure I am scared I am stressed I am worthless I am reliable  I am strong I am guilty  I am all of these things and more but I can never admit to it.  or show it. 

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