A Very Sincere Apology

She stepped out of the car as tears rolled down her face, She couldn't bare to look at the person  she loved the most, and the people behind him that she hurt. She knew She had to face reality. Reality was that she felt embrassed ashamed and very disappointed in herself. She said to herself I have been through hell and back and not many people know the truth of what I have been through it's to much to explain. She knew she had to approach each person and tell them  what they had to hear. Truth is she sucks at this kind of stuff. Her fear of losing  finally kicked in and she made sure she said what she had to say. she looked down, looked up at each of them and smiled because reguardless of what she knew if she could just pray to god god will fix  what is needed to be fixed. She knew she couldnt do this by herself but she knew the holy spirit was with her. Slowly approaching them  she said "Words can not express, how sorry that I am to have hurt you, I have tired to replay over and over in my head what it is that I wanted to say but no matter how much I try  the words never seem to come out right. My actions an behaviors have pushed you all away and one thing is for sure, I never wanted to do that.  I never want to lose the people that I really love, and care about, (I dont want to say the names of these people so the names are changed due to privacy) Jack, truth is since is I met you my life has changed and  I don't want to lose the person who has truly become someone that I can go to for anything.  regardless, of how things are right now I will always be here for you. and I do genuiunely love you with all of my heart, nothing will change  that and mean nothing, I am sorry and hope that you can forgive me and that we can move forward from this. Charlie and Shawna,  I am so sorry for putting you guys in a situation where my actions failed to be on point, and that it feels like you can not forgive me.  I have not had the greatest childhood nor the right gudiance to help me through out my journey, meeting you guys, you have become like family to me and our more like the mom and dad that I never had. I have opened my eyes to see that I really need to change my ways before I lose alot of people including you guys.  I am eternally loyal and grateful to have you, jack, charlie and shawna in my life and all I  want is to continue to have you all in my life. She stepped back and looked at all of them with even more tears down her face, her life was filled with negative aspect but these 3 people changed her life to become positive and she didnt want to lose them not even for a second.  She would take a bullet for them and go above and beyond for each of them.  She said to herself these people have shown me something I could have never shown myself WHY? mess that up. PATIENCE  she said  to herself. Looked up laughed walked away in the hopes that father god has answered her prayers  enough that they understand that I love them and dont want to lose them out of her life.   I AM SORRY! Do you Forgive me?
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